Fabulous Fifties in the Roaring Twenties
I was thinking today about what it means to age and how actually fabulous I feel to be 54 years of age in 2020. I honestly feel amazed that I have made this far, given what I have been through. I am deeply happy. Can I be happier? Absolutely. Will money make me happier? That was the question I really pondered this morning.
I am content where I am. I have a job now thank goodness, and I really enjoy it. It allows me to be housed and fed and to have a space where I can think and be. I can work on my fitness and ideas of where I want to go in what remains of my life and what I want to achieve.
Yesterday I uploaded my first videos to Youtube and I felt exhilarated. I cast away all of my inner voices which were telling me how terrible I looked and sounded and I just said ‘stuff it’ and did it.
I am what I am. You are either going to love or hate me and I’m OK with either choice. I like any human would prefer you to at least like me but it doesn’t matter if you don’t. I’m still going to do me. At the very least it will be a legacy for my children to have something to remember me by and look back upon me as their mother and who I was and what I believed.
I can’t deny that I have hope that it will provide a string of income but if it doesn’t I’m still having a great time.
Maybe none of my ideas will pay off and I will die destitute with nothing to leave my children. I know though that they will be OK because I have taught them well and they are living by the rules and strategies that I have show them.
I want to be able to alleviate some burdens of this world for them in the form of money so they don’t have to struggle, but struggle has been a good thing for me. Without struggle I wouldn’t be here right now, writing this piece and feeling fabulous in a new decade.
So far, 2020 has gotten off to a very shaky start with unprecedented fires in my country and the threat of global war.
I am happy though. I am happy in struggle and pain and happy in happiness.
It is with this attitude that I can face anything.
We can all be happier with something else external to us. But if I don’t feel happy inside first, nothing else is going to ‘make that better’.
I embrace my age as a badge of honour. I have lived 54 years and I don’t know how many more I will get from this day on. I have beaten biological, environmental, spiritual, geographical, genetic, educational and financial barriers to get me this far. How fantastic is that?
This is the attitude I want to share with you. Instead of worrying about ageing and our changing minds and bodies, embrace that you have made it this far. Don’t lament getting older for all that you have lost or would do differently, but look forward to what is to come and how you can apply all that you have learned so far to take you through to the next phase.
If I fail, I fail because I tried something. I would much rather fail again at something than to have sat here and not tried and waited for death to come get me. I’m going down fighting and trying to reach the goals I have set for myself, happy in just the trying and hoping to be ecstatic when I succeed.
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